Healing
by NightcrawlerLover5580
Summary: Set between issues 7 & 8 of Extraordinary X-Men, based on what happens to Nightcrawler (full explanation inside). Rated for mentions of bad mental health.


**A/N** : Short story based on what happens to Nightcrawler between Extraordinary X-Men issues 7 & 8\. Marvel doesn't really (actually, doesn't at all) explain what happens to him before he's back on the field in the next issue. It's just kind of like, BAM! He's suddenly okay and fighting again. It can't be like he gets a hug from Jean and everything's just magikally okay. (See what I did at there?) If you don't know what I'm talking about, SHAME! Just kidding, but I highly suggest you read the series. It's really great and well worth the read. Anyhow, onward!

oOo

Healing

The hug from Jean and the thought of knowing my team and family were there for me was a huge comfort, but we had yet to find a remedy for my lack of sleep. Or my depression. The combination of the two things is not something I would even wish on my worst enemy. The depression brought the nightmares, hence the lack thereof in the sleep department.

Every time I tried to even get a little bit of sleep, the nightmares came. They were mind-numbingly awful, depressing, bloody nightmares of the things I had endured in the past five, or maybe six, months that would constantly come back to haunt me.

They were all of the awful tortures I experienced at the hands of Sinister and his lackeys. This is also something I would never, in my entire life, wish on my worst enemy either.

I would normally wake up about thirty to forty-five minutes after the start of the dream, having been woken up by my own screams and in a cold sweat, panting as if I had teleported fifty times in a row without stopping.

The nice thing was through all of this though, was that either Poitr or Ororo would come to visit me every day. Ororo's presence was like a soothing balm, and Poitr gave me the sense I was protected from the dangers of the outside world. When anyone else comes, I'm terrified someone is going to hurt me. Especially when more than one person came in at a time.

I would feel trapped, like they were going to take me somewhere against my will. The very thoughts would make my heart beat faster and make me start to hyperventilate. I know it was highly irrational, and really awful, seeing as how these people were practically my family, but I was still afraid of them.

Personal contact made the fear worse, too. Even though, deep down, I knew they were only trying to help me, whenever I was touched it made me panic. All of this is irrational, I know, but they were fears nonetheless, and I felt helpless. Utterly helpless and depressed. I was completely at the mercy of my mind and my depression.

I even tried at one point to cut myself as a distraction. I had found a shard of something, I'm not even sure what it was, under the bed and was cutting my forearm with it. That didn't turn out well at all. I had two cuts on my forearm and was about to give myself another, when I heard a ruckus outside my door.

Logan had apparently smelt my blood and started shouting for Ororo and Poitr to come. He came dashing in with them at his heels, just as I was about to give myself the third cut to my arm. He grabbed my other arm and pulled the shard from my hand. I went into a full-on panic attack, just from the little bit of contact I had made with Logan from him prying the shard from my hand. I tried to run out the door in my panic, so Poitr held me down on the bed. This made the panic attack even worse.

Forge came in and put sedative in me, in an attempt to get me to sleep, and it calmed me down once it was really in my system. But it did nothing more than that, much to his disappointment. Ororo suggested giving me actual sleeping medicine. After a few nights, I finally obliged, much to her relief, just holing out the hope it would make the nightmares go away. It knocked me out cold. I had the most wonderful, restful night I had had in a long time.

oOo

I woke up feeling quite refreshed, far less depressed, not at all panicky, and actually wanting to be around people. I quietly stole out of the main house, not really wanting to be seen. I wasn't at all surprised at the noise and bustle the camp greeted me with. I also discovered the sight and sounds of the camp made me miss my mischievous little bamf buddies following me around everywhere.

It made me miss Amanda more too. She thrived on places like this. Interacting with people and making them happy in any way she could was what she did best. Oh Amanda. I miss you so much my heart hurts. I wish you could see this place. You'd love helping out.

After a few minutes of walking around, I started getting overwhelmed by the people, so I slipped away from the noisy camp to walk around the grounds for a while. Just as I rounded back corner of the mansion, I heard a sound I hadn't heard in a very long time.

The sound was a single violin. I came to a complete halt upon hearing it.

The chosen song wasn't a lilting tune, but a sober one, that seemed to ring with memories and adventures of times long gone. But I could tell by listening to it, that the player was putting their heart and soul into the music. It seemed to be telling a story of the past.

I ventured a bit further, to locate the player. I spotted her after only a few steps, standing underneath a tree not far from the back of the house. I quietly approached her, hoping I could ask what the song was. Something about it resonated deep within me.

She was about Magik's height, with deep, thick brown hair longer than her back and light tan skin, like she was often doing things in the sun, wearing a made-over old dress that used to belong to Storm. I came up behind her just as she finished playing her song. I stood behind the tree until she let her violin fall to her side and leaned her head back with a sigh.

"Vhat exactly vas ze song you vere playing? I enjoyed it," I asked, coming out from behind the tree.

The girl whirled around to look at me in surprise. When she saw me standing there, her look of surprise turned to one of starstruck awe. It was really a bittersweet moment, realizing someone outside of my team looked up to me. She shook herself out of her daze to answer me.

"I was playing 'Forgotten Voyage'*," she replied. "My name is Lilly Davis, by the way. I'm glad you liked my playing. Would you like to hear something else? I'd be more than glad to play more."

"I'd love to hear you play more," I replied honestly. I know I'd heard her accent before, but I couldn't quite place it.

I then remembered I hadn't properly introduced myself. I bowed deeply, with one leg extended, using my natural flair and trying my hardest to be charming.

"I am Kurt Wagner, also known as ze Amazing Nightcrawler. It's quite a honor to meet a lady such as you."

Lilly blushed very deeply. "I'm glad you liked my playing, Mr. Nightcrawler. You're very welcome. I'm very pleased to meet you and make your day better."

I straightened up to see young Lilly patting the space on the grass beside her to beckon me. I came over and sat down next to her as she put her violin on the shoulder again. She played a note and grimaced, then smiled apologetically at me. I smiled back and told her to take her time. She smiled at me before re-tuning her strings and starting again.

The tune she chose to play next was fine and lilting, played with genuineness and heart that I felt resonating in my soul. Young Lilly played with so much emotion and passion one can feel it in their bones. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, feeling very much at peace.

As she played, I pictured beautiful scenes in my head of the mountains that surrounded my hometown in Germany. I was able to vividly recall all of the breathtaking views of waterfalls and fields, as well as the view of the town itself from the mountaintop. It was a very serene feeling, not having my inner voices telling me to do things.

When the tune ended, I sort of felt a feeling of emptiness, almost as if the music had made me whole again. I opened my eyes, turning to her, ready to ask if she could possibly play the song again. I was cut off by Logan, who I don't think either of us knew was there. I'm pretty sure I made this face when he started talking. : **/**

"I remember my Jadie humming that song when she worked," he said.

I turned to look at him in surprise. I was shocked. According to Ororo, Logan never talked about his family, not even to her. And when someone asked him even one question about them, he would shrug it off, almost like it wasn't a big deal. I wasn't quite sure what to say, other than to ask Lilly what the song was called.

"Vhat exactly vas zat song called?" I asked. "I really enjoyed it."

"It's called "Wilderness**," Lilly told me with a smile. "I'm glad you liked it."

I was just about to try again to ask her to play it one more time, when we were interrupted by a shout, most likely from her mother.

"Lilly Grace Davis, get over here right now!" came the woman's shout. "I've been looking everywhere for you! I need help with the baby and you know you have to tell me or your father before you just disappear!"

I turned around in my seat on the grass, and saw a woman slightly smaller than Lilly coming towards us. When she saw Logan and me sitting with Lilly, her anger seemed to melt away. It was replaced with surprise.

"I'm terribly sorry, gentlemen," she apologized. "I didn't realize you were sitting with her. Please make sure she doesn't try to run away and do something crazy. I guess I'll leave you all to whatever you were doing." She glared and mouthed something at Lilly before turning away and making her way back to camp.

I turned back to Lilly, who let out a breath and rolled her eyes.

"My mom is really protective," she explained. "I understand why, but at the same time it can be a bit smothering. I really respect my mom and don't want to argue with her or talk back, but I just feel really unable to do anything. Can you help me explain that to her?"

"Of course I'll help you explain," I replied with complete understanding. "I had ze same problem as a child."

Lilly's brown eyes grew round with wonder. "You did? You really get it?"

I smiled kindly at her. "My parents kept me in the house all the time, for fear I vould be attacked und hurt. It vas really hard for a hyper teen like me to be cooped up all the time. It's hard. I completely understand."

Lilly sighed, taking her violin off of her shoulder.

"Well, I guess I have to go now," she said, standing up. "I'm very glad to have met you and that you liked my playing. I hope it made your day better."

"It most certainly did, fair Lilly. Und I vill make sure to speak vith your mutti*," I replied.

She stooped down to the ground again and I heard the sound of a zipper. She stood up with a sad smile, swinging some sort of case over her shoulder. Probably her violin case. She held out her hand, and I shook it. She gave a nod to Logan and started on her way.

oOo

When Lilly disappeared around the corner of the house, I turned to Logan with a questioning look. I'm really glad we know each other so well, or he wouldn't have gotten the message of my expression.

"I'll show ya where her tent is, Elf," he said. "Come on. It's this way," he told me, jerking his thumb in the direction Lilly had left.

We set off, and I had very high hopes for her mother being willing to listen. I mean, if Storm already got them to X-Haven, I was positive I could show her how much Lilly could have at least a little bit of freedom here. There aren't any anti-mutant terrorists in Limbo, right?

We made our way slowly through the camp, helping out with small tasks where we could on the way. It felt wonderful to do something as simple as helping the recruits carry boxes. I don't know exactly how or why it felt good, but it did.

We eventually made it to Lilly's tent. Logan made it clear once he pointed it out to me that he didn't really want to be in the camp anymore when we got to the door, so I let him disappear without argument.

I saw Lilly come out of the tent as I approached, holding a baby in one arm and pulling a toddler along by the hand on her other side. She noticed me and sent me a shining smile, witch I'm sure would have been accompanied by a wave had she not been holding on to two small children. I smiled back and waved before she turned and disappeared into the crowd, going in the opposite direction.

I approached the tent she came out of, and carefully pulled the flap back to enter. Before I could, however, a petite lady came out that looked like Lilly, shouting over her shoulder in a language I didn't know. Before I could say anything, she stormed off into the crowd in the direction I came from. I turned back to the tent, hoping I could at least speak to at least one of her parents.

A man appeared in the entrance of the tent, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. He sighed before hiving me an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry about my wife," he said, shaking his head. "I've been trying to convince her to give Lilly some space, but she continually refuses to listen. What can I do for you?"

"Vell, I vas vondering if I could maybe, possibly tutor your daughter, Lilly," I said, rubbing the back of my neck with nervousness. "If I can't tutor her, I could at least be her friend."

The man sighed with what I guessed was relief, putting his hand over his heart.

"You must be an angel of the Lord Almighty," he said gratefully. "Lilly is very much in need of a friend and a tutor for her studies. Her mother has been keeping her from doing much of anything, and she hardly, if ever, leaves the tent without her brother and sister. Maybe you would be willing to help me convince her mother to let her roam and have a bit of freedom in the camp."

My curiosity was piqued. Lilly had mentioned this problem when I spoke to her earlier. I decided then and there that I would help her out.

"I vould gladly help you," I replied. "I met Lilly earlier and she mentioned feeling a bit smothered. Und her music is one of ze most lovely zings I've heard in a very long time."

"Ah, yes, her violin playing has brought a lot of people joy," he said with a nod. "Her grandmother gave her that violin the day before we came to X-Haven. Before we were able to escape the town, a unit of the army came after us. Her grandmother was shot and bled out in her arms right before your team appeared to help us escape. Her mother was smothering her long before that, when the cloud appeared, but it only made things worse in the long run."

I nodded in understanding. That cloud had made life miserable beyond belief for a lot of mutants in the past few months. It didn't surprise me that Lilly's mutti had become overprotective and smothering. I sighed.

But before I could say anything more, someone ran into my legs from behind. Startled, I jumped and turned around to see a small boy hanging onto me, saying something I couldn't quite make out, with a beaming smile on his face. Lilly's father chuckled and smiled, shaking his head while responding to the child.

I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I turned around again to be greeted by Lilly's shining smile over the head of a sleeping toddler in her arms. She turned to her father, handing off the child to him and saying something. He cradled the child in one arm, responding to Lilly and leading the other child back into the tent. Lilly did a little victory dance of excitement and grabbed my wrist with a shining grin on her face.

"Come on, I'll show you my favorite spot on the grounds," she cried over her shoulder, pulling me along through the crowd. "I think you'll like it as much as I do. It helps me relax and forget the world is sometimes a really horrible place."

oOo

Once we were free of the crowd, she let go of my wrist and slowed down to a more leisurely pace. She reached around her neck and pulled all of her hair over her right shoulder and started to braid it as we walked. While she braided her hair, she started to sing. It was a cheerful tune, and was really quite infectious.

I believe the chorus went something like this:

" _Sing, sing, sing, sing_

 _Sing it out as hard as you can_

 _Make 'em hear you from L.A. To Japan_

 _Don't let 'em bring you down_

 _This is how we do it now_

 _Go and roll them windows down and_

 _Sing, sing, sing, sing_

 _Sing it with your hands in the sky_

 _Light it up like the Fourth of July_

 _Don't let 'em bring you down_

 _You know what I'm talking 'bout_

 _A little bit louder now."****_

It kind of made me think of Jubilee and Shadowcat. It was very much the kind of song they would've listened to as teens. I had a bit of a flashback to my days as a member of Excalubur, when that was very much the kind of music Kitty listened to, alongside her Star Wars soundtrack. I miss those days so much.

Lilly pulled my out of my haze when she pulled my arm and told me to kneel. She let go of me and proceeded to crawl on her hands and knees behind the bushes. I followed, a little bit unsure if I was going to fit into her hiding place.

All of my worry ended up being for nothing, as there ended up being almost enough room in her hideout that we probably could've brought along two more people and we would've fit comfortably. It really was quite a nice little place. It was away from the noise of the camp and was really quite peaceful.

Lilly had decorated the place with music related things and pictures of various superheroes. She also had another violin down here that I could see (I'm really not sure if it was the same one or a different one, but we came down here to talk about other things, not the violin. I believe I asked her, though I don't remember her exact answer).

Lilly curled up next to me with her chin on her knees and sighed.

"I wish people could live with us in peace," she said, with sadness in her voice. "We never did anything to them and the Mist isn't even our fault, it just happened, but they choose to blame us for their problems anyway. A lot more mutants than humans have died because of that stupid mist. And most of the mutants left are here in X-Haven. I don't understand why normal humans have to blame everything on us. It's already hard having powers in the first place, and they don't even know the struggle of trying to control said powers so we won't hurt people like them in the first place. Why does this all have to be our fault?"

I put my arm around her shoulders and she started to cry softly. I hugged her, and she started to sob. I rubbed her back gently in soothing circles and tried my best to comfort her.

"Lilly," I said, trying to be soothing, "I think zat people are still trying to figure out how to handle ze mist, and are simply terrified for their families. All they vant is to keep their children and relatives safe and it's scaring them. They simply vant someone to blame for it."

"But why is it always mutants?" she asked, her sobs now sniffles. "It makes it harder not only for adults like you and the other X-Men, but for people my age that still want the ability to be kids, but are forced to grow up too fast because the government in almost every country is, for all intents and purposes, after our heads. When Magik and Storm came for my family, we were hiding in the basement because people had sent the anti-mutant force after us. Our neighbor warned us, and we packed up everything we could carry before contacting X-Haven to let them know we would need them to come as soon as possible."

"Did you manage to get away before they got in?" I asked, growing somewhat concerned.

"Not all of us," came her muffled answer from the ball she had curled herself into.

The way Lilly said it so simply really scared me. I really wanted to help her but wasn't sure I could do anything but ask questions. The next question that came to mind, however, was one that I was scared to ask. I somehow got up the courage to ask, though my voice was noticeably shaky.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" I asked nervously.

"Just as Magik and Storm appeared, they started coming down the stairs. They broke down the door, I guess, after discovering that it was the only door in the entire house that wasn't locked. We were just about to teleport away, but they shot my older brother before we had time to do anything. I miss him so much," she said, starting to quietly cry again.

"I don't know what to do without him. All his responsibilities got put on me so quickly, and I don't know what to do. We didn't even get to give him a proper funeral. We just had to leave his body where it was and get away," she said, trying as hard as she could to not start sobbing again.

I started to rub her back in soothing circles, thinking over my words carefully before actually saying something. I didn't want to make it worse, so it took a bit to come up with something to say,

"Vell," I started, choosing my words carefully, "what, exactly, vould your brother vat you to do, even though he's gone to be vith ze Lord?"

Lilly sniffled. "He'd vant me to keep playing ze violin," she said, mocking my accent with a small smile gracing her lips through her tears.

I stopped rubbing her back and gave her a playful shove.

"Hey, my accent is off limits!" I cried jokingly, making her laugh.

"Hey, my accent iz ov limits!" she mocked, laughing harder.

By the time she stopped mocking me, we both had tears of laughter streaming down our faces from the merriment. It felt genuinely good to laugh, even if it was something as silly as my accent being imitated.

Once we were reasonably calm again and could draw a breath without laughing, our conversation got more serious again.

"That felt really good," Lilly sighed, leaning back into a relaxed position.

I let out another small chuckle, remembering something Beast once said to a student asking about remedies for mental ailments. My guess is that the boy had some sort of mental illness, but wasn't really willing to talk about it.

I leaned back next to Lilly.

"You know, a friend once told me that for people with struggles like what we have, that laughter and a positive attitude are some of the best remedies," I told her. "Maybe, if we try our hardest to do those things, we can heal better."

She smiled at me. "Maybe it'll help us heal faster too," she said. "Your friend must have been very wise. Was it Storm that said that?"

I chuckle again. "No," I reply simply. "It was Beast."

"I guess we should laugh more, then," Lilly says with a smile.

"Ja, it's part of healing," I smile back.

oOo

 **A/N:** I like to name my characters after people I either know or people I look up to, so Lilly is named for Lilly Singh (aka iiSuperwomanii) and Taylor Davis (a super good violinist that is also on YouTube, that you should look up ;), she's amazing). And just like any other story I write, this one has a lot of song references and I'm gonna put them down here so y'all can look them up if you want to (order: song – album by artist). Have a lovely day! Please review, I wanna know how I did. :)

*Forgotten Voyage – Brave Enough by Lindsey Stirling (this song is a Target bonus track)

**Wilderness – Odyssey by Taylor Davis

***Sing – Pentatonix by Pentatonix (only the chorus is in the story)

*mutti – German for mother


End file.
